And now you're crying in your sleep, I wish you never learned to weep. Don't sell the dreams you should be keeping...

I hold onto people for too long.  It's like they wander into my life and I feel a responsibility to keep them there.  It takes a lot for me to let go. By a lot I mean basically physical violence b/c I obviously get off on being abused emotionally.  The last few weeks has been a mass exodus.  While I have been the one pulling the plug, at long last it does leave me slightly unsettled.  However unsettled, I am deeply hopeful for the future.  The amount of drama and chaos my once friends and the Fab Four created in my life certainly aided in my insomnia.  It's beautifully quiet and serene.  The people that are left are meant to be here.  It is so strange that you can look at your life six months ago and a person so key in your life today wasn't in it yet.  This grounding and stabilizing force had not yet broken down your doors and walls.  A few weeks ago a long time intimate friend (loved me some PM Dawn) that I had eliminated from my life hit me up.  I was kind but firm and simply told him that I was not feeling self destructive enough to dance with him anymore.  Maybe that is where the true breaking point lies.  That you are simply not self destructive enough anymore.