Insomnia......Helllllllo Darkness My Old Friend

I have to admit that I searched for songs with lyrics that would sum up how im feeling. I couldn't find any but i did find one of the single most annoying songs that I have ever heard and an equally disturbing video. Cadillac SKy, Insomniac Blues For Matthew. Normally I will give songs many chances but this is not one of them. Fuck that. Never again..... I have pretty much always suffered from insomnia. I can remember having it even as a child. I was soooo excited to open my first savings account and get a free gift which was a "digital clock". Not todays version, but the kind with the numbers that would flip over. I can rememeber laying in bed, sun still out and shining praying for sleep to take over while staring at the worlds loudest clock waiting for the minutes to flip. Sans the digital clock that has been the story of my life. Right now my schedule is all screwed up from my flare and ensuing depression. Normally I go to bed around ten or ten thirty and get up around eight or eight thirty b/c I am fortunate enough to live so close to work that I don't need much time for transit. Last night I went to bed around midnight not sleepy and ended up sleeping through my alarm and woke up at seven PM. Crazy. Now in order to get back on track, I will have to go back to bed within two hours or so of waking up truly for the day. At least i'm not hungry tonight. My waffle iron cooked a mean steak and corn on the cob. I think i'm getting the hang of this stove being out thing, finally. I think that I want to finger paint. No idea where this one came from but I can see myself doing it rather well. I wonder if there is such a thing as adult finger paints so that I could get paints in the colors I actually want. Apparentely yes, it's just standard acryllic. I am soooo on this tomorrow when I don't have to be in bed so blasted early. I watch tv in my room like twice a year. Guaranteed that I won't be able to find the flipping remote no matter how hard I try. I don't even care if i don't have the dvr feature as long as I can actually choose what to watch. I can handle a few commercials....granted it's been a quite a few years since I have had to. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcdDqTEgDwI This video has been haunting me for over a week now. First of all for that fool near the front who looks like he is dancing to a completely different song than the one I am watching them sing and perform Don Corneilus has some weird fixation/crush on Michael. If you don't believe me peep the video from 1979 . Michael greets him like he is an elderly aunt and Don C is obviously oddly smitten with this gesture and Michael. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hrquuuce0Nk Michael is strangely powerful for his age and I can't take my eyes off of him even with the rest of what is going on around him. Who made Tito's ass the fucking mouthpiece???? Bad move, Joe, how bout you book your kids in some more strip clubs.......... Everything I read about Papa Jackson pisses me off It's a wonder there aren't more significantly emotionally damaged family members besides Michael with their early hypersexualized lives