WIth my myriad of health issues, it seems like there is always something. This week, I just gave up trying to balance any of it, all of it. Its quite hard, harder than you would think to balance so many different health issues. So this week for really no reasonI just stopped eating. Since my health is driven a great deal by my diet, this obviously wasn't a bright move. I have eaten all of two hot pretzels and about 10, 20 oz's of sugared cola since Sunday. I'm not hungry, i'm not suffering the effects, yet.... But I know it's coming. I just tried to make some chicken (bleech) and guess what? My fn stove isn't working yet again. Fantastic!
I'm also cold, cold to the bone cold. I made a concession and I am wearing socks so that's a start. Normally I don't wear socks when I am at home bc they bother one of the health issues. So putting on socks was kinda a big deal.
With all of the Prince/opiates stuff currently a hot topic, I was shocked to get a call from my pharmacy today to tell me the exciting news! There was a new script called in for me for a larger dose of painkillers! Wow, just what I wanted! I've been trying to avoid them until I hit a crisis point and I feel physically better and sharper intellectually than I have in months. I was devestated last week to find that when I was speaking to customers, they were not the dumbasses and it was me that was. For the last month or so, customers have been saying that i have their telephone number or address wrong when I repeat it back to them. I know what I just said and I know what i'm reading but apparently I am saying something completely different. Heartbreaking....and scary
I know that everything doesn't last forever. That what is going on now will not be the same forever but it sure feels differently when you're living it! I have no idea what is going on with my son and I but our communication has taken a very steep decline recently. I feel like there is a complete lack of respect on his part now and it's just devestating.
My original B&B both always said the song, If She Knew What She Wants was written with me in mind. But, he can't give me what I need or want. Only I can do that and right now I am having a huge crisis of faith, in myself.
I texted my therapist and told her the stupid crap i've been doing the last few days and asked her for an appt. Haven't heard back from her yet.
There is nothing better in this world to cheer up a struggling Sonra than kitty kisses and brown sugar bacon, it just tastes like happy! Shaun is being the sweetest and most loving boy today and that helps too.
If she knew what she wants
(He'd be giving it to her)
If she knew what she needs
(He could give her that too)
If she knew what she wants
(But he can't see through her)
If she knew what she wants
He'd be giving it to her
Giving it to her
(He'd be giving it to her)
If she knew what she needs
(He could give her that too)
If she knew what she wants
(But he can't see through her)
If she knew what she wants
He'd be giving it to her
Giving it to her
But she wants everything
(He can pretend to give her everything)
Or there's nothing she wants
(She don't want to sort it out)
He's crazy for this girl
(But she don't know what she's looking for)
If she knew what she wants
He'd be giving it to her
Giving it to her
(He can pretend to give her everything)
Or there's nothing she wants
(She don't want to sort it out)
He's crazy for this girl
(But she don't know what she's looking for)
If she knew what she wants
He'd be giving it to her
Giving it to her
I'd say her values are corrupted
But she's open to change
Then one day she's satisfied
And the next I'll find her crying
And it's nothing she can explain
But she's open to change
Then one day she's satisfied
And the next I'll find her crying
And it's nothing she can explain
If she knew what she wants
(He'd be giving it to her)
If she knew what she needs
(He could give her that too)
If she knew what she wants
(But he can't see through her)
If she knew what she wants
He'd be giving it to her
Giving it to her (giving it to her)
(He'd be giving it to her)
If she knew what she needs
(He could give her that too)
If she knew what she wants
(But he can't see through her)
If she knew what she wants
He'd be giving it to her
Giving it to her (giving it to her)
Some have a style
That they work hard to refine
So they walk a crooked line
But she won't understand
Why anyone would have to try
To walk a line when they could fly
That they work hard to refine
So they walk a crooked line
But she won't understand
Why anyone would have to try
To walk a line when they could fly
No sense thinking I could rehabilitate her
When she's fine, fine, fine
She's got so many ideas traveling around in her head
She doesn't need nothing from mine
When she's fine, fine, fine
She's got so many ideas traveling around in her head
She doesn't need nothing from mine
If she knew what she wants
(He'd be giving it to her)
If she knew what she needs
(He'd be givin' it too)
If she knew what she wants
(But he can't see through her)
If she knew what she wants
He'd be giving it to her
Giving it to her
(He'd be giving it to her)
If she knew what she needs
(He'd be givin' it too)
If she knew what she wants
(But he can't see through her)
If she knew what she wants
He'd be giving it to her
Giving it to her
But she wants everything
(He can pretend to give her everything)
Or there's nothing she wants
(She don't want to sort it out)
He's crazy for this girl
(But she don't know what she's looking for)
If she knew what she wants
He'd be giving it to her
Giving it to her
(He can pretend to give her everything)
Or there's nothing she wants
(She don't want to sort it out)
He's crazy for this girl
(But she don't know what she's looking for)
If she knew what she wants
He'd be giving it to her
Giving it to her
Ooooooh, giving it to her
Giving it to her now
Giving it to her now
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