Reblog or whatever....doesn't apply to me personally but def some sage advice

mellonat0r asked... Hi Bley! You're good at giving kicks in the ass, and I need it: I've been FWB with a guy for 2.5yrs and I'm the one who wants more (he doesn't). I know I should end it but I'm scared I can't because I'll really miss him and be lonely. Pathetic, huh? Aw man. You don’t need a kick in the ass. What you need is some self confidence. There’s this great book called Watership Down. It’s about a bunch of talking rabbits. In one chapter (called “The Shining Wire”) the rabbits come upon a warren where there are no natural predators. At first, it seems like heaven: The rabbits of Cowslip Warren look like they have it made! There’s nothing to fear! Food is plentiful; they can run free, sing songs, and do whatever they please. Ahhhhh… Paradise. There’s only one rule in Cowslip Warren: When a rabbit disappears, you’re not allowed to ask where they went. That’s a little weird, right? It turns out (spoiler alert) that the farmer who owns the field killed off all the predators so that the rabbits can run free - but whenever he’s in want of rabbit meat, he sets a trap or two (the “shining wire” of the chapter’s title), and kills some of the rabbits. Not all, just some. The rabbits of the warren are, in effect, his own private stash to kill whenever he pleases. But the rabbits of Cowslip Warren rationalize that this INSANE SITUATION is actually totally cool because other than BEING MURDERED ONCE IN A WHILE, life is perfect. This is what being in a Friends With Benefits situation is like. At first, it seems perfect; Sex with someone who you kind of like and trust, whenever you want? Well, of course! How great! You don’t need to deal with any of that icky relationship drama, but can still fuck to your heart’s content? Who wouldn’t want that? But there’s just one rule: You can’t ask where the relationship is going or want anything more. Like our heroes in Watership Down, eventually you’ve realized that the price is too high. This “perfect existence” isn’t worth it. The dark side (aka “reality”) of the Friends with Benefits arrangement is that it almost always leaves one person holding the hot potato of catching feelings. And this person is you. I’m sure you’re scared of losing him if it ends. I’m sure you’re scared of being lonely. But here’s the thing: You’ve already lost him. You’re already lonely. It’s already over - your feelings just haven’t caught up to the reality of what’s happened. You’re standing in the ashes of a house that’s already burned down worrying about when the fire alarm is going to go off. Not everybody is hot enough (including yours truly) to be able to get into a Friends with Benefit situation, so kudos to you there. You’re lucky enough to be one of the few to enjoy such a fun arrangement - but here’s the thing: That shit is child’s play. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them, yeah? Yeah. So congratulate yourself with the fact that you had your fun fucking this guy - then put that on the shelf and look forward to the adventure of looking for somebody who’s equally fun to fuck but will love you back. They’re out there, but you gotta be willing to do the work. Summer vacation is over. Time to head for greener pastures and leave The Shining Wire behind. Good luck.